On the way…

Its rightly said- That even you dont know how much do you actually WANT what you are so madly running after.

If that sounds too philosophical, think about it.
What makes me say this at this moment, this day of the year?
Multiple and extremely random and extremely confused reasons– The seasons gone by, and the seasons in cycle..and those that we are going towards. i dont know whether the coming seasons shall bring me joy, but I still crave for them so desperately.

Im sure that I make no sense whatsoever.

Anyhow, I do realise that articulation on that account isnt possible.. even if “what” ji observes “writer that you are”.

So I shall move on to mentioning some other things…

Every morning, as Im heading to office, right at 7.40 AM, I see something that never ceases to amaze and move me. And that event is the sight of a girl heading to school. Now, there is nothing unusual in that, except the fact that the girl has no legs.

and this girl I see everyday, sitting in the wheelchair, her father pushing her along, carrying her crutches in his hand. And he takes her to school everyday. They walk, as in he walks. I dont know what the distance is, but its by no means unsubstantial .
Everytime I see this poor, worn out man, taking his disabled daughter to the nearest government school, I feel like disembarking from my car and telling him what a great job is he doing. And how proud Im of him…

And there are so many like him. Everyday I see countless people on their cycles, on their feet, even on their selling carts, pushing one-two-three children to school. Their uniforms are dirty, there bags are torn. But they are going somewhere. Atleast.

While this is more of an emotional discourse,and might be far from reality, what is real is the effect which the sight of a poor man taking his disabled daughter to school everyday,can have on you.

Fields of Gold

The outstretched hand,
The falling rain,
The cloudy eyes,
The pouring skies.

The mute cry,
The shrieking death,
That final wish,
To die in her bed.

Where times would stop,
And hours will burn,
Heaving and choking,
Inside my chest.

She washes my hopes,
As I balm the wounds,
On her back.
She looks not at me,
As we walk the nostalgia track.

She wields her words,
And leaves me behind,
She floats on fogs white,
And the rains make me blind.

I wait for death,
As alone on her bed I lie,
In her boxes I lived,
In her closet shall I die.

And as I close my eyes,
I dream of fields yellow,
Where winters spray froths white,
And rains fill canals hollow.

In those fields now I wander,
Her slave and death’s stray,
And somewhere beneath harvests of gold,
Buried my happiness lay…

Whatever…

End of office hours. Such a relief. Stories im doing still float in my head. Im drowning in e-waste. And Im reading Video Conferencing everywhere. Ahhhhhh…let it be!

And now I know what people meant when they talked about separating personal and professional. but do i really know? I mean, Im still writing a personal blog while im on the job! ugggghhh..Dosent matter.

And as my state shows, im not only stressed but also messed. i wonder where will the coming days take me. What magazine shall I land up in. Will I be “coffying” with telecom high-shots or will IT people fall into my plate. And do I care right now…I guess not!

Do I even know what Im writing about? no…Its just random. One of my friends would call it stream of consciousness. And Virginia Woolf would probably want to kill him for that. Atleast Im not writing about shadows!!

Anyhow. I need a break. I nice drink, maybe The Dark Knight. and maybe something which I haven’t had in ages. Dont ask what.

One final observation. I dont think there is any line between the personal and the private…oh! i meant professional.

hello people!!

Welcome to my new blog! This might contain everything or nothing. It was started because one fine day, sitting in my bus en-route to my far-off work land, i realized I have so much to write. More than my profession allows me to, maybe.

So, here it is, this blog, on which shall be pinned my thoughts, views, regrets, experiences and maybe a lot beyond the sermons of my “Specialized Field”, the nature of which even I cannot fathom, till now.

you are welcome to read, comment, criticise and praise.

Happy Blogging!